Lyric [Mr. Mackey] (Eric Cartman) And everyone should get along.. Okay children quiet down, quiet down Children I'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day His name is Mr. Shady Children quiet down please Brian don't throw that (SHUT UP!) Mr. Shady will be your new substitute while Mr. Kaniff is out with pneumonia (HE'S GOT AIDS!) Good luck Mr. Shady
[Eminem] Hi there little boys and girls (FUCK YOU!) Today we're gonna to learn how to poison squirrels But first, I'd like you to meet my friend Bob (Huh?) Say hi Bob! ("Hi Bob") Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom and he don't got a job, cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot but his twelve-year old brother looks up to him an awful lot And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot and wait in the parkin lot for waitresses off the clock when it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog Drag 'em in the woods and go straight to the chopping blocks (AHH!) And even if they escaped and they got the cops the ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge 'til one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job when she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk But Stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off But Bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his rocker Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a "Dr." He grabbed Stace' by the legs as chopped it off her and dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander they never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana, and what it might do to you So see if the squirrels want any - it's bad for you
[Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)]
See children, drugs are bahhhd (c'mon) and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (ask him man) and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (that's right) She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (she will) So kids say no to drugs (that's right) So you don't act like everyone else does (uh-huh) Then there's really nothin else to say (sing along) Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?
[Eminem] My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it? FUCK NO you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut (Huh?) Speakin of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels? Ecstasy is the worst drug in the world If someone ever offers it to you, don't do it Kids two hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid and spinal fluid is vital, you won't get it back So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in your back Meet Zach, twenty-one years old After hangin out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold and decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys and peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it Suddenly, he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into hyperdrive and his eyes roll back in his skull {*blblblblblb*} His back starts tah - look like the McDonald's Arches He's on Donald's carpet, layin horizontal barfin {*BLEH*} And everyone in the apartment starts laughin at him "Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him!" cause they took it too, so they think it's funny So they're laughing at basically nothing except maybe wasting his money Meanwhile, Zach's in a coma, the action is over and his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicin yoga And that's the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac So don't even feed that to squirrels class, cause it's bad for you
[Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)]
See children, drugs are bahhhd (that's right) and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (that's right) and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (you can) She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (she will) So kids say no to drugs (smoke crack) So you don't act like everyone else does (that's right) And there's really nothin else to say (but umm) Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?
[Eminem] And last but not least, one of the most humungous problems among young people today, is fungus It grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off, bag it up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew it Yum yum! Then you start to see some dumb stuff And everything slows down when you eat some of 'em.. And sometimes you see things that aren't there (Like what?) Like fat woman in G-strings with orange hair (Mr. Shady what's a G-string?) It's yarn Claire Women stick 'em up their behinds, go out and wear 'em (Huh?) And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms? I meant fungus Ya tongue gets, all swoll up like a cow's tongue (How come?) cause it comes from a cow's dung (Gross!!) See drugs are bad, it's a common fact But your mom and dad, know that's all that I'm good at (Oh!) But don't be me, cause if you grow up and you go and O.D. They're gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee and get a disguise and hide, cause it'll be my fault So don't do drugs, and do exactly as I don't, cause I'm bad for you
[Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)]
See children, drugs are bahhhd (uh-huh) and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (put that down) and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (you can ask) She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (and she will) So kids say no to drugs (say no) So you don't act like everyone else does (like I do) And there's really nothin else to say (that's right) Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?
[Mr. Mackey] (Eric Cartman) Come on children, clap along (SHUT UP!) Sing along children (Suck my motherfuckin dick!) Drugs are just bad, drugs are just bad (South Park is gonna sue me!) So don't do drugs (Kiss my motherfuckin ass!) so there'll be more for me (Hippie! God damnit!) (Mushrooms killed Kenny! *fart* Ewww, ahhh!) (So, fucked up, right now..)
有些人對於活動的邀約,不回答Yes or No,開始講些非關主題,然後拉了一堆你可能根本還搞不清楚是圓是扁的人進mail loop,以前剛進公司會跟著一起打哈哈,但當你發現打開mail box裡面的廢話信多如垃圾信時,主題已被模糊,我開始選擇不再成為大家眼中的垃圾信製造者。而最讓人詬病的是話最多,最後說不去的那種人,這樣也罷,但還拉了一堆阿狗阿貓,我很想問這些人跟這次活動主題有啥關係?!
mail loop是個很微妙東西,從各自回信的內容你可以嗅到每個人的特質,也可以分辨出哪些人是聰明人,所以從現在開始,我也要當個聰明人。